Let’s Talk About God’s “Blessings” & “Favor”

On the evening of September 11, 2017, just after a hurricane had hit, I walked into my apartment and saw this: 

That, my friends, is a giant hole where a wall should be and a river where a river should not be. Crazy, right? Trust me when I tell you that seeing it in a photo pales in comparison to what it felt like to actually be there. The vast majority of everything I owned was destroyed. 

I’ve actually tried to stay away from broadly publicizing it for various reasons, but I’m mentioning it here because something became abundantly clear to me after the storm: 

People either dramatically misunderstand how God’s “blessings” or “favor” work or they are not thoughtful in their proclamation of God’s “blessings” or “favor” in their lives. Sometimes, it’s both. 

After a storm, people say something like, “We’re so blessed because nothing bad happened to us! That’s such a God thing.” 

After a deadly shooting at a concert, they may say, “I was supposed to be at the concert, but I’m so blessed that I wasn’t!”

People get a job they’ve been praying for and say, “I’m so glad I’ve got God on my side!” or reference having “God’s favor.” 

Maybe someone has been praying for some worldly, physical item for a long time and they receive it. Or maybe someone has cancer that goes into remission. Then, you may hear something like, “Thanks to our dedication to asking and our obedience in waiting, God gave it to us! He provides if you just believe hard enough!” Maybe they’ll end it with a “#blessed “or a “#WontHeDoIt” for good measure. 

But problems arise when you claim God’s blessing or favor because something bad didn’t happen or because something good did. 

What about people who did have issues during the storm? What about those who did attend the concert and ended up injured or dead? What about the people who didn’t get the job? What about people who prayed and prayed and prayed some more to get that thing they thought they needed or that they or a loved one might be healed and they didn’t get that thing or they weren’t healed? Did God just choose to “bless” you over them? Does he favor you over them? Did they just not pray hard enough? 

This way of thinking can be damaging to others’ spiritual lives and our own. After all, what happens when something seemingly bad does happen to you? What happens when you don’t get something you need? Has God now abandoned you? Are you now less blessed than the others? 

I believe we are choosing simplicity over nuance and trading clarity for comfort.

In order to fix this, we need to be more thoughtful with what we say and do. We must also give serious thought to what God’s “blessings” really look like. Even a casual glance at scripture turns up a list of characteristics of “blessed” folks and “those who aren’t affected by disasters” or “those who get everything they pray for” aren’t on there. 

The “poor in spirit” are blessed.

“Those who mourn” are blessed. 

“The meek” are blessed.

“Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness” are blessed. 

The “merciful” are blessed. 

The “pure in heart” are blessed.

The “peacemakers” are blessed. 

“Those who are persecuted because of righteousness” are blessed. 

Don’t God’s “blessings” in our lives seem to be more about the eternal than the temporal? More about who we are or how we react to life than what we have or what life does or doesn’t throw at us? 

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me,” Jesus tells us. 

Doesn’t this suggest that “blessings” are likely to come from what we would consider to be bad things? 

I have no doubt that we are blessed by God. But this way of thinking about God’s blessings is damaging to us and others. It’s also self-centered and limiting. It influences how we think about God. The reality is God and God’s blessings are so much bigger and better than what we think and the reasons behind blessings are far less selfish. 

So, then, how do we fix it? And how can we talk about God’s “blessings” in our lives without in turn claiming his favor over others? 

We acknowledge there’s a problem. 

Take a deep, hard look at your life. If you’ve spent the entirety of it thinking about God’s blessings only in terms of successes or positive things that happen to you, you’ve likely missed out on a much deeper richness and it’s waiting to be discovered. Pay particular attention to the rough spots in your life — where did you see God’s goodness in that? How did you grow from that experience? 

We think about others, not ourselves.

Just a few days ago, Michael Curry, presiding bishop of The Episcopal Church, had this to say about self-centeredness: 

“If you want to know a single word for self-centeredness from our Christian tradition … it’s the word ‘sin.'”

“Sin is about living my life only for me as though I … am the center of the universe and you are on the periphery. And as long as I’m the center of the universe and you are on the periphery, I can treat you like anything. But when love rules, it’s not just about ‘me.’ It’s about ‘we.'”

Once we look at our blessings through the lens of others, or at least consider others in the process, we gain an entirely new perspective. Blessings should not simply enable us in some way — they should enable us to love God and/or love others better and more often. 

No matter what comes our way, we search for the goodness — and for God. 

While I don’t believe God causes all the crappy things that happen to us, I do believe God can be found in our circumstances. God, after all, is not only for us, he is with us. God will be there with us in the deepest depths of darkness and highest highs of the goodness. 

We handle with care. 

If we are not being self-centered, this won’t be a problem. We need to understand that our words have meaning. If you’re preparing to share a story of God’s “favor” or “blessing” in your life, think first about how it helps others. And think about unintended consequences of what you may be saying. For example, if you happened to make it through a storm just fine, perhaps the real blessing is that you’re able to help those who were less fortunate. 

Shortly after the hurricane, our priest at church asked us to share with someone in the pews next to us a moment when we saw God in the storm. My answer was this: the goodness of people. 

People couldn’t wait to help. And I’m not just talking about close friends and family. Co-workers from literally across the country. Members of our church who we hadn’t yet met. People I hadn’t spoken to in years. Strangers. 

And this is true, by the way, on a higher level. So many people stepped in to help others, regardless of who those “others” were. Isn’t it funny how so many superficial barriers crumble when people are in need? How we can suddenly focus on the right stuff like loving our neighbors? 

God’s not always going to give you want you want or what you prayed for. And when you happen to get what you want or what you prayed for, it’s not a sign that God favors you over others. And the “thing” itself is often times not actually the blessing.

We do a disservice to ourselves, to others and to God when we put God in a box. It may be comfortable, but it’s a human construct destined to fail. Rather, we should embrace what comes our way and do the hard work of uncovering what blessings await, regardless of the circumstances. That, my friends, is a much firmer foundation on which to stand. 

My Latest HRO Comments

 

The City of Jacksonville is (still) debating a more inclusive human rights ordinance that would provide the same legal protections to the LGBT community already provided to many other groups, including religious groups. Here are my comments from the City Council’s public hearing on Jan. 24, 2017. The text below is the same as the video above. My apologies in advance for the grainy video, but it’s the best I could do for now and I felt it was an important message to share.

Members of the City Council, friends and neighbors, good evening. I’m Kyle Sieg. I first want to thank you for this opportunity to speak tonight. Frankly, I don’t know what more any of us can really say on this issue that might actually change hearts and minds. So I’m going to spend a few moments talking about what I do know.

As Maya Angelou said, “we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.” It may be difficult to see that right now, but it’s true.

Here’s something else I know: Everyone in this room, yes everyone in this room, is a beloved child of God, created in God’s image. It doesn’t matter who or how you are, or what you believe.

And everyone in this room deserves love and equality. In fact, Christians are called to love one another, as difficult as that is and as messy and imperfect as we all are.

Here’s what else I know: Jesus lived in the margins and championed social justice. Christians are called to follow in his footsteps and reach out — in love — to the marginalized.

Let’s assume we’re all just trying to do the right thing. How do we figure out what that is?

In the Bible, Jesus says a good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. And so our beliefs should be shaped by their outcomes.

Only bad fruit can come from continuing to allow discrimination in our city, especially when multiple groups — including religious groups — already have these same protections.

But if we did pass these protections, maybe LGBT people would be safer in their own community. Maybe more businesses would move to Jacksonville. And — something that should be important to Christians — maybe more people would receive a Christ-like message of love and inclusion. That sounds like good fruit to me.

I want to share with you two quotes from local faith leaders who’ve helped me profoundly, both from St. John’s Cathedral just down the street.

Dean Kate Moorehead offers this advice:

“Look at each other. Do you see each other? Each of us is a human being. Each one of us is so much more than just one issue — more than our political persuasion or ethnicity or race or gender or sexual orientation. Look at each other. Stop seeing a cause or perspective. See the person!”

Reverend David Erickson tells us that…”We must not live according to fear. We must not remain in darkness…

We are called to be light-bearers — love-spreading difference-makers…

This is our commission. This is our sending forth….And it’s not simply what we’re to do. It is who we are. It is, like Jesus, our true identity — the very pulse of our heart.”

This is why I’m speaking out in favor of an expansion of love and inclusion and equality in our city, which is what an expanded HRO would be.

Thank you.

If you’re wondering what you can do to support fairness and equality in Jacksonville, I wholeheartedly recommend emailing, writing and calling your local City Council representatives. I also suggest following the Jacksonville Coalition for Equality for updates on the measure and how you can help in other ways.

Additionally, I encourage you to speak out, publicly, on this issue within your own friend groups. A lot of people in Jacksonville don’t seem to know this is even going on. They also don’t seem to know that LGBT people face discrimination in their own community. So, please, educate yourself if you need to, and then help us educate others. This is more than an issue and it’s not just about the economy. This is about real people facing real discrimination in their own community. We need your help.

My “Giving Tuesday” Plans

This year, I’ve been thinking about Giving Tuesday more than usual. I try to give whenever I can, whenever it’s needed, but I also like the idea of a concerted effort to encourage others to give charitably, especially in this season of receiving gifts, many of which we don’t truly need.

There are many, many causes I’d love to financially support, and I encourage everyone to donate some time or money throughout the year, if you’re able. That said, here’s who I’ll be helping on Giving Tuesday:

LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS

St. John’s Cathedral

I’m not technically a member of St. John’s Cathedral (or the Episcopal Church, for that matter), but its clergy, particularly Dean Kate Moorehead and Rev. David Erickson, are wonderful and have really helped me. They are also advocates for the marginalized in our community. St. John’s Cathedral’s outreach efforts include Volunteers in Medicine and the Clara White Mission.

Earlier this year, St. John’s Cathedral invited neighboring churches, businesses and nonprofits to discuss the future of its Downtown neighborhood “and how to return it to a thriving community.” The goal: “…sharing God’s love through urban revitalization,” not by “displacing the poor and the non-profits ministering to them,” but by “moving working class people, businesses, and students into the district, beautifying the area and slowing the traffic so that a true village is born.”

Sounds good to me.

Sulzbacher Center

An estimated 3,000 people are homeless in Jacksonville. The Sulzbacher Center is the area’s largest provider of comprehensive services for the homeless. Beyond food, shelter and healthcare, it also helps people find jobs, and offers children’s programs and life skills programs.

JASMYN

JASMYN has directly helped more than 20,000 local LGBTQ youth since it began in the early 90s, myself included. I’m particularly fond of JASMYN because of its focus on helping young people, especially in this community, where love and support for LGBTQ folks aren’t always felt.

JASMYN has a lot of programming and educational opportunities. There’s a support group, resources for people who want to start a gay straight alliance at their school, education on safe sex, and “drop-in” nights where young people can connect and just hang out in a safe, supportive environment. JASMYN also provides free HIV testing.

Jacksonville Coalition for Equality

Jacksonville is the largest American city without human rights protections for the LGBTQ community. The Jacksonville Coalition for Equality is all about getting our city’s existing Human Rights Ordinance updated to include protections for sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression in employment, housing and public accommodations.

More than 600 local businesses and more than 150 faith leaders publicly support this change, yet the city’s mayor and some members of the City Council apparently still need to be convinced. That’s what JCE and the people behind it are trying to do.

Jacksonville Humane Society

While I didn’t find any of my pups through the Jacksonville Humane Society, both dogs I’ve had as an adult have used the JHS animal hospital. Lily hates the vet. In fact, “hates” might be an understatement. But the staff has always been patient and understanding, which I appreciate.

JHS cares for thousands of animals each year. It provides food, shelter, medical care, and of course the opportunity for people to adopt.

NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS & CAUSES

The Reformation Project

Gay Christian Matthew Vines is a great resource for LGBTQ Christians, particularly evangelicals. Vines created The Reformation Project, which works to promote the inclusion of LGBTQ people by reforming church teaching on sexual orientation and gender identity. The goal is to see a global church that fully affirms our community. What I really love is that Vines and The Reformation Project don’t avoid the so-called “clobber verses” — they address them directly and do a great job of it.

The Reformation Project has regional training conferences and an annual “leadership development cohort,” an intensive program to train LGBTQ Christians to be leaders in their own local faith communities. They are also planning to create local Reformation Project chapters at some point. Awesome stuff. Also, if you’re interested, be sure to check out Matt Vines’ book, “God and the Gay Christian.”

The Trevor Project

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people ages 10 to 24. And the rate of suicide attempts is four times greater for lesbian, gay and bisexual youth and two times greater for questioning youth, compared to straight youth.

The Trevor Project provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ young people. It also operates the only national 24/7 crisis intervention and suicide prevention lifeline for LGBTQ young people and offers help through instant messaging and text messaging.

ACLU

Some of my friends might see this as a controversial choice, but I’m reminded of a quote I recently heard. I can’t recall it directly, but it was basically that some people don’t like the ACLU until they need it. The group has been around for almost a century, and has more than a half-million members, nearly 200 staff attorneys, thousands of volunteer attorneys and offices throughout the nation.

I’m a fan of equality, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, the right to due process, etc., so I’m a fan of the ACLU.

Doctors Without Borders

Just like the ACLU, you’ve probably heard about Doctors Without Borders. In case you don’t know, though, these docs deliver emergency medical aid to people affected by conflict, epidemics and disasters.

For me, right now, this is all about Syria. There are certainly other ways to help with this issue, but there are now no open hospitals in Aleppo. None. Most, if not all, have serious damage from bombs and other fighting. The World Health Organization estimates that more than a quarter-million people are now without hospital care. Doctors Without Borders goes wherever there is need, including incredibly dangerous places like Syria.

Mni Wiconi Health Clinic Partnership at Standing Rock 

If you’re not familiar with the situation at Standing Rock, here’s a good summary. Like Syria, there are various ways to support the folks at Standing Rock and there are many websites that have aggregated some of the options, so if you’re interested, be sure to look into it.

The Mni Wiconi (Water is Life) Health Clinic is a free clinic proposed as a partnership with Standing Rock Sioux Tribe traditional healers, UCSF and others to provide free care to all people in the Standing Rock Sioux reservation, including supporters who have gathered as “water protectors.”

This effort has already met its financial goal, so now all donations will be used to directly support immediate health needs at the Standing Rock protest camp.

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There are many great causes and organizations to support. If you’re able, I encourage you to find opportunities that work for you, whether in your own community or national/international causes. If you’re worried about how much of your money will actually support the programs you want to support, sites like Charity Navigator can help.

I hope Giving Tuesday is just the beginning. So many places could use volunteers and financial contributions throughout the year. I plan to work harder to be more involved, and I hope you will, too.