To The “Christian” Preacher At My Mom’s Memorial Service

I was against this from the start. I was frustrated that no one consulted me about this from the start. And this is exactly why. You didn’t even know her. You got her age wrong at the start of the damn thing. And that was pretty much the most accurate or most appropriate thing you had to say for the entire afternoon. At least the part I stayed for.

You had NO right to turn my mom’s memorial service into recruitment for what must be — judging by your “sermon” — a conservative cesspool of fire and brimstone preaching hicks who believe that no way — NO WAY — aside from their narrow-minded piece of mental real estate right next to Westboro Baptist Church — is the right way.

How dare you.

You know, I was OK with you preaching. I was OK with you delving into Psalms. I was even OK with you suggesting that people become Christians. You know why? Because I’M understanding. I get that my mom’s family chose your little shack that you call a church to have a memorial. I get that you came along with the package. I get that you wanted to take this as an opportunity to recruit people to join your tens of congregants.

If you noticed, I just sat there, even when you started suggesting that people who weren’t smiling at the moment needed to be saved. At a memorial service. You know, for a dead person. Someone people cared about. I also just sat there when you screamed incessantly about how everyone else was going to hell and needed to accept jesus RIGHT NOW before they burned for all eternity. I especially love how stoic you thought you were, preaching this to a group of people you considered friendly, but who were really people you didn’t know at all, for the most part. And I just sat there — like a good social butterfly — for all of that bullshit, most of which, my MOM would’ve probably been pissed about.

But I have no clue what was going through your mind when you started talking about how America was “going to hell.” Do you know how many YEARS I’ve heard this? Do you know how many times I’ve heard about how doomed our country is? And I even sat there through that.

What I couldn’t stomach — what I refused to sit through — was you moving to how the country is bound for hell because of its “leadership.” Now, don’t misunderstand. You can say whatever you want about the president or anyone else on your own time. I don’t care what filth you feed your followers on Sunday. You can be as narrow-minded, backwoods, racist, conservative, anti-gay as you want. I don’t care. What I DO care about is my mom. What I DO care about is you taking a time of grief and trying to profit from it. What I DO care about is you using a time of mourning to score some cheap religious or political points with people at their weakest moment. And then, you shout something about Jesus being able to “hit a moving target” as I walk out. Did you want me to zig-zag or something? Unbelievable.

And I’m not some uneducated, never-seen-the-inside-of-a-church-or-Bible kid. No. In fact, I was raised in church. I’ve read the Bible. And I can probably interpret it better than you will ever be able to understand. And do you know what else? None of that matters. Why? Because this wasn’t CHURCH. This was a MEMORIAL SERVICE. This was for a FAMILY. This was not for you. This was not for your church. This was to comfort, not condemn. To show love, not hate. To offer help, not hurt.

Have you even read about Jesus? No, really. Have you? Even operating in your little religious world, the man you claim to follow would’ve been ashamed of you today. You didn’t offer a slither of hope. Instead, you offered hell to those who didn’t do what you said. You didn’t offer a slither of love. Instead, you offered a verbal lashing to anyone who didn’t believe you. You didn’t offer a slither of kindness. Instead, you kept berating. You didn’t offer a slither of acceptance. Instead, you assaulted.

And do you know what? If you are the kind of man that God wants in heaven, I don’t want to be there. I’d rather POLLUTE myself with kind, loving, tolerant people. You’re a poor excuse for a Christian and you’re what’s wrong with a lot of organized religion. You wonder why you are spreading your hatred in a little church that probably struggles to keep running water in the building? Look at yourself. Look at how eager you and your followers are to convince more people to join you. Look at the fact that I was willing to get up in the middle of a service to honor my mother and walk out because I didn’t want to hear anymore and I thought it’s what SHE would want me to do. Look at the fact that people CONGRATULATED me for doing so. Look at the fact that you didn’t even approach me after the service, nor did any of your little minions. Look at the fact that instead of sharing the love that Christ shared with others, you chose hate. You chose fear. You chose condemnation. You chose anger.

You may call it “telling it like it is.” I call it flawed.

You may call it “honesty.” I call it judgmental.

You may call it “truth.” I call it opinion.

You may call it “reality.” I call you a fraud.

You should be ashamed of yourself. And if you’re not, surely the guy you claim to represent is. You’re an embarrassment. And anyone who chooses to listen to you is, too. Thankfully, I know you aren’t representative of ALL Christians. But I don’t know if others do. That’s your problem.

PART 2: What I learned from this experience.


4 thoughts on “To The “Christian” Preacher At My Mom’s Memorial Service

  1. I totally agree with you! I can’t say that I would’ve peacefully walked out though. But I’m a little less even tempered than you. I love you and I’m sorry for your loss and In sorry for the additional pain and emotional battering you went through because of someone else’s ignorance. Please know that you are loved.

  2. Demonize the President, tell gays they are going to hell. And when a loved one passes we should smile. I’ll bet he smiled all the way to the IRS to claim his tax exempt status.

  3. “I like your Christ; I don’t care very much for your Christians. Your Christians do not resemble your Christ.” – Gandhi

    “By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?” – Jesus


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