Don’t get excited (or scared) – I’m not getting married anytime soon…that I know of! But a friend of mine just wrote about what she referred to as her first “lesbian wedding.” It was a good read, and – of course – it made me think…
I’ve referred to my future wedding as my “gay wedding” or my “gwedding” (Hey, I like to make up words). But if I’m serious about making so-called “gay marriage” a reality, I should get serious about semantics. The whole marriage equality movement is geared toward making us equal. We don’t do that by using a separate term for the same commitment. All marriages should be centered on love and respect between a couple, not their gender. After all, when I look at my boyfriend, I don’t say, “I gay love you.” It’s just, “I love you.”
I’m certainly not offended by people who talk about going to their first gay wedding. I get it. It’s unique. It’s interesting. It’s something that a lot of people have yet to experience. I’m sure I’ll write about attending my first same-sex marriage, too. My friend was simply using the term to better explain why she was writing about a marriage and she did a great job of talking about why the “lesbian wedding” felt just like any other wedding – all about the love. But others use the term to create a division; to maintain separation.
Of course my marriage – my wedding – will be non-traditional. Of course we will get to create the event without the burden of keeping with tradition. But every couple has the chance to make their wedding their own. So between me and my guy – in our hearts – it’s just marriage. Because, in the end, it isn’t about us both being guys. It’s about being in love and wanting to share a life.