I know I’m supposed to be thankful. I know that – now, more than ever – I should be thankful for the life I’ve had to live so far and continue to hope that I live for decades more. But right now, I’m pissed.
My heart is breaking for the family of a high school friend. Moments ago, I found out he passed away. And this wasn’t someone I casually knew in high school. This was someone relatively close – in my circle. We were in drama together. I know I should be the guy who talks about being reminded of the fragility of life and how we should cherish every moment and blah blah blah. And yes, that’s true. But right now, I don’t want to cherish every moment. Right now, I want to punch something.
So here I am, writing. I hope that, by writing my thoughts/feelings out right now, it’ll help me understand what exactly I’m thinking and accept this. But right now, I can’t. I’m still stunned. I’m still numb. I’m still pissed. I know this is a natural reaction. But it doesn’t make it any better. It doesn’t make it feel right. Nothing feels right. I’m stunned.
Last time I saw him, it was out at a bar. He was as friendly as ever and I was genuinely glad to see him again.
Now come the clichés:
“We aren’t promised tomorrow.”
“Time heals all.”
“Live life to the fullest.”
All of that may be true, but it doesn’t help. So for now, I’m just pissed.