Soulmate Debate


Are we all meant to find a single significant other? The love of our life? Or are some of us destined for singledom? Destined for lifelong litany of love interests and letdowns?

It’s a question I’ve pondered a lot, but not because I have a problem seeing myself in a lifelong relationship with one person. I’ve seen that since I was a kid and to be honest, I’ve even seen one specific person playing that role for years now. But a few of my friends have raised this question, worded in various ways: If we are meant to share our love with people, why do so many of us choose to limit it to one person for the rest of our lives?

My immediate reaction is simple: It’s not a choice. While I did choose to act on my feelings, I did not choose to limit my romantic interest to one person. I did not choose to fall head-over-heels in love with one person. It just happened. Nothing can compare to that love; nothing has and I’m convinced nothing ever will. Even the love of a child or a parent is different.

Being in love with someone and choosing to spend the rest of your life with that one person does not mean you’re limiting your love. You’re deepening it. There is still a lot of love to give in plenty of different ways. The options are endless.

But some people are convinced they aren’t meant to love just one person. They think their hearts simply don’t work like that. I think these people can be split into two groups:

  1. They only think they aren’t built for one person because they haven’t found the right person yet. 
  2. They may be right.

Your heart may be telling you a completely different thing about love than what my heart tells me. I don’t think that’s wrong. We’re all built differently. What’s “wrong” is not following your heart, in favor of the road traveled far too much. What’s “wrong” is settling, so you won’t have to answer pointed questions about personal beliefs. What’s “wrong” is running from what you feel because of fear.

We sometimes think we have our idea of happiness all figured out. Then we chase after it over and over again until we get it…and we’re still not happy. The funny thing is that many times, our idea of true happiness was right in front of us all along. Silly humanity. We’re so full of love, yet often lack the boldness to show it.

You won’t find true love by hiding your heart. And you won’t find it by going after someone else’s idea of what love is. It’s your life. Show love in your way. But the bottom line is this: A single romantic love isn’t limiting; it’s limitless.

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