I have a declaration. It’s not bold. It’s not new. But it has to be said…
For the record, I have a boyfriend. I do not have a “friend” or a “special friend” or a “[whisper] boyfriend.”
My theory is that – in an effort to not directly acknowledge the fact that I am gay, some people don’t ask if I have a love interest or a boyfriend. Instead, they ask if I have any new “friends” or how my “friend” is doing. Sadly, family may be the worst offenders, but others do it as well. So let me just put it out there for all of the “uncomfortable with the whole ‘gay’ thing” folk to answer:
Why is it acceptable for you to degrade my relationship so that you feel more comfortable discussing it? If I walked up to you and asked how your “special friend” was doing, in reference to your husband or wife, you’d be confused and maybe even a bit offended. Why should it be any different for gay people? It shouldn’t.
So I challenge all of the people who think they’re accepting of gay people and gay relationships to actually examine what they do or say around these people and make sure that their words, actions and mindset match. My boyfriend and I would kindly appreciate it. And I will be correcting you if you ask how my “friend” or “special friend” is doing.