We Should Never Forget…

It’s only fitting on this National Coming Out Day that I share my coming out story with my 5 wonderful readers. (Ok, 6…) The first person I — or any gay person for that matter — has to come out to is himself. But people pretend that we only have to “come out” one time. No. For me, at least, it was a series of painstaking conversations that continued on and off for two years. Hell, I’m still having conversations about who I am with people. That’s ok, though. I’m going to share a few different stories, all with different reactions. Parts 1-3 can be found in previous posts. They’re worth it. But part 4…


I never wanted to be the guy who let “gay” define him. My sexuality is not all that I am. It’s a small part of who I am. 

But what I’ve realized over the years is that people need me. I’m not saying that to inflate what I’m sure is an already big enough ego. I’m saying it because it’s the truth. People need young gay men and women to stand up and be honest about who they are. We need to not be afraid of what others think about it. So many of us have amazing friends and family and we shouldn’t keep them to ourselves. We should share our resources with others who don’t have the same help we do. 

I so look forward to the day when a kid looks at me and asks why I once had to start a conversation with people just to tell them I was gay. And I hope when I explain it, he’s confused because he doesn’t understand why it would matter to anyone. 

I hope that day is soon. 

We should never forget our struggles with defining who we are. Instead, we should use them to propel us into a future where people don’t have these struggles at all. 

Our kids will have battles of their own. “Coming out” should not be one of them. 



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